


i wish i could take your sadness away (but all i do is fall for you)

by dystoparrilla



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Letters, Swan Queen - Freeform, SwanQueen AU, first fic, swanqueen - Freeform, teen sq
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-01 08:33:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15139226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dystoparrilla/pseuds/dystoparrilla
Summary: she finds a letter addressed to a father that left his daughter behind because she liked girls. and she decides to answer.that's how their story beginsswanqueen AU





	1. she writes like angels (and i'm not even a star)

**Author's Note:**

> hey! it's my first fic, so i am just trying some things and i will see how it goes! publishing it will help me with writing i guess so here i go x

So, it's a story. Or rather, it is their story. The one everyone has been wanting to hear about. Well, i am going to tell you everything. Or at least, everything i know.

It was a dark evening when it all started. She was walking back home, alone, after a long day of work, she was tired but also excited to be coming back to her daughter and husband. They were her life and she started to smile while thinking of them. She smiled remembering how difficult it had been at the beginning, how hard they had fought to be able to be called a family, but here they were, happy and a family, finally.  
When she arrived in front of the house, she knew something was off. The lights were down, she did not feel that warm feeling that usually filled her when she was standing in front of the door. A bit scared, she entered in her home and that's when she heard it. Their song. The song they had been listening when they received the adoption papers. She could not believe she had forgotten it was today. And she started crying. She was so relieved, and also so happy that her family was alright and happy, she hugged them stronger than she had ever before.

Over dinner, they talked about their day, her daughter telling her about a strange letter she had found that day on her way to school, a letter that was not addressed to anyone but which had a return address. She did not tell what was written in it but she asked whether or not she could answer it. After asking some questions about who seemed to be the expeditor, her and her husband agreed. Their daughter could use a new friend.

And honestly, that is the story i am going to tell.

//

_dad,_

_I wish you could hear me now, I wish you could be there right next to me. I feel so alone now that you are gone. Please, come back, i don't like it here without you, everything feels empty and bitter. Even mom has lost her bite, she is like a ghost._  
_I will be better, I promise I will be the daughter you have always dreamed of. I will not fall in love with any other girls, I will find a nice boy, like that daniel guy you have been constantly telling me about, just so that you come back and stay into my life forever._  
_Please, dad, I need you_

_your daughter,_  
_Regina_

//

Emma felt so many things while reading this letter and she knew one thing for sure: she would write back to this Regina and convince her that she could be her own person and pull through whatever was going on right now in her life.  
Emma began to write, she felt like she knew exactly what to tell this girl. She had never been really good at cheering people up, she was clumsy, never choosing the right words, but she found out that writing down what she wanted to say was much easier.  
She had so much to say and yet it seemed like it was never enough. She had felt the deep pain behind these words and she understood it.

//

_dear Regina,_  
_I am not your father (the reference to Star Wars wasn't intentional, but it can be if it made you laugh), but I found your letter and I'm not sure you expected him to read it anyway... May I ask where your dad has gone? Why? You don't have to tell me anything, I just found out recently that talking was much better than keeping eveything inside, and trust me, I really had a lot of things trapped inside._  
_I'm sorry that your dad wasn't accepting of you liking girls, but you know there is nothing wrong with you, right? Love is love and there is nothing more normal than falling in love with another person. By the way, I like girls too, and I'm a girl too, obviously._  
_I am just writing back to you because I would like to be your friend, if you'd have me. I'm clumsy and kind of an idiot most of the time, but I have a big heart ready for you. I have been through a lot of things and I'm starting to heal, so I would like to help you heal too. What do you say, Regina? How about a new friend? I'm not sure I'll make your father come back but I might make your smile come back, and I'm sure that'll help your mother's come back too._  
_Impatiently waiting for your answer (no pressure though!)._  
_Emma_

//

Regina had been looking at this letter for 30 minutes. She hadn't been expecting any answer at all, indeed, neither from her father nor from anyone else. It felt good. She felt understood and she realized it had become an unknown feeling to her. She did not know what to do with this precious letter. Should she answer? Or would it look clingy? She was lost but one thing was sure, she would cherish this letter forever.

When she went to sleep that night, she put the letter under her pillow and let the tears fall. They were not tears of sadness, not all of them, but tears of a past that she had finally decided to leave behind and on her face, she drew a smile of determination because she knew her future could look brighter. This Emma might not be aware of it right now, but she had given her a gift: the willingness to start over and to get better, day after day, now that she knew there were good persons in this world. She would do it for her, to show her that she was right to believe in the goodness of people.

And it seemed only fair to Regina that she would write back to emma just to thank her, just two words, or maybe more, she kind of wanted to know more about this mysteriously wonderful girl...


	2. she thinks i'm strong (but she is my strength)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! so i am already back with another chapter, turns out it works really well for me to post ahah! i hope you like this one! xx

We are back to the story of our two teenage girls searching for themselves, for each other, and for a meaning in their life. We left Regina asleep with a smile on her face, her mind filled with dreams about the brighter days to come. She made a mental list of things she had to do in order to get her life together before being able to write a real letter to her father asking him to come back. First, she would smile as much as possible, she would try to spread happiness or at least make someone else smile everyday. This someone else, she decided, would have to be her mother whenever possible. Their story was complicated, she knew her mother had a hard time showing her feelings, but she wanted her to know that it was okay to let go at times, and that it was safe for her to do it at home. Secondly, she would continue to study as hard as before because she knew it was important and it would make her father proud. That, she could do for him. She also decided she would embrace the fact that she liked girls. It was still new for her and she knew it would be a long road but it had to start somewhere, and there was no better moment than now, she told herself. In order to achieve that, and also to keep to final item of her list, she would answer to Emma and accept her friendship. She seemed like a great person to be friend with, and Regina figured she could help her find herself, and maybe, they could help each other.

//

Regina spent a good day at school, a great day even. She discovered that smiling was like magic: it made people around smile too, and everyone was way nicer and seemed to have a better day that usual. Optimism makes you see life through a better lense. When she got back home, she went straight to her mother's study. She asked her about her day, told her about small things that happened to her today that could make her smile. She saw that her mother was positively suprised, even though her smile did not quite reach her eyes yet. Regina did not worry, nothing could change in one night, it was a work in progress and she was determined to do her best to make her mother smile again. She would not let sadness win and she would show her father that they were capable of rebuilding themselves without him. She then sat at her desk.

//

_dear Emma,_

_I was not sure whether or not I would write back, but then I realized that it wasn't fair to you. It was an act of bravery to share parts of your story with me once you had learned a bit about mine and I couldn't let that be in vain. Your letter made me realize many things and you would be glad to know that I started to smile again thanks to you, and with this, I hope it will get my mum to do the same._

_Also, I would very much like to be your friend. You seem to be really nice, and you must be, for having taken the time to answer to my pitiful letter. I could use a friend, I don't have many, and even more a friend who already know a lot about me and doesn't seem to judge me for anything. In return, I would like to be the same kind of friend, I would like to be there for you whenever you need it, Emma. I don't want our friendship to work only in one way, okay? And I like the idea of exchanging letter, it's original and I like the excitement of the expectation, even though I know I'm gonna be too impatient for this! Either way, it will be good for me. Thank you for everything, I owe you a lot._

_Regina_

//

That is when we find Emma, two days later, reading this letter. She had spent the last days worrying about her decision to answer this letter and her fastforwardness. Was she prying? Did she made this Regina girl uncomfortable? Had she made the right decision? She was really hoping that Regina would like her letter and that she would accept to be her friend. Just like her parents told her, she could use one. Indeed, Emma was kind of a lone girl, she had friends, of course, but no one who seemed to really understand her. They were all fun and game but when she wanted to confide something, she didn't feel comfortable enough with them. That was a shame. However, reading this letter from Regina, she thought that maybe this was coming to an end and that she had finally found someone who would be worthy of the title of best friend.

She decided to start writing back right away. Of course she accepted this friendship (who wouldn't?) and no you don't have to thank me but yes I am so very glad I made you smile. Emma decided to tell Regina about her parents' reaction when she told them about the letter. It seemed just a little bit personal to her and, if they wanted to share everything with the other, well, that was a good start. Little things, details that seem to don't matter but are important to us, are what help building a solid friendship. Emma knew that and she wanted to do it right. When she went to post the letter, she thought that Regina was right: the most difficult part would be the waiting between the letters. She was already addicted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued? let me know what you think...


	3. you write, i smile (and what's with the smiley?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry for the wait, i'm really busy working abroad, and travelling so i have had so little time to write! i will have more towards the middle of august so i promise i'll be posting more at that point. until then, here is the new chapter, hope you like it!

_dear Emma, Do not apologise for making decisions and telling me about your daily life. You must know by now that I love hearing about it! I am so glad you decided to answer my letter the day you found this. I have to tell you, I think you have become my best friend. Since we started talking, I no longer feel alone, it's like you're always with me because when something happen, I immediately think about telling you, about what you will say, how you will make me laugh. Even if you're not there with me, you make me smile and I want to thank you for this. I am telling you this because I know you think you are rambling and annoying me with your stories but please, know that the eagerness to receive, read your letters and answer them is as strong for me than it is for you._

_I am sorry to hear that Neal has been a jerk to you recently, but have you thought that maybe he was jealous? From what you told me, I wouldn't be surprised if he had a crush on you. So maybe you've given him some reason to be jealous, I don't know what it could be, though. Well, except if you've got a crush on your part and you haven't told me yet, but I should hope that you would, wouldn't you? ;)_

_For me, this week has been a good one. I am talking more and more with my Mum each day and I am enjoying how our relationship is evolving. Thank you for all the advice you are giving me, it is helping me a lot._

_I_ _hope that, after reading this letter, you will not be afraid again to write about everything and anything, Emma, and also that your smile has come back. I am sure it looks beautiful._

_Waiting to read you soon,_

_Regina_

 

//

 

Emma's smile was reaching her ears, indeed. This Regina was really something. They had been exchanging letters for quite some time now and she had discovered that she was getting a little addicted to their friendship. But was it bad? She didn't think so.

Her mother was looking at her with such happiness and love in her eyes that she did not believe there could be a single negative side to this new thing. Well, maybe this Neal problem...

Neal had always been her bestfriend. They were inseparable and she had been lucky to have him before getting adopted, and even more lucky when she found out he was now living in the same city as she was. However, recently, as she told Regina, he was shifting away and she didn't understand why. Regina might have made a point on the crush thing but Emma had never wanted to admit it. She prefered to ignore it so that their friendship would not become weird or awkward. After all, Neal knew that she was a lesbian and that he didn't stand a chance. It would go away sooner or later and Emma didn't see the necessity to address the issue. It would cause more harms than good.

The real question was: what was Emma doing that made him more jealous recently? Emma did not have any new crush or new girlfriend, she wasn't looking at anybody in her class or in the cafeteria. The only new thing in her life was her new friend Regina...oh. Oh. Maybe that was it. Emma had been talking to Neal about Regina. She couldn't help. She seemed too interesting to her not to share it with him. But it was possible that he didn't find Regina's favorite movie or last test result THAT interesting.

Emma had found the matter and decided that she would keep Regina mostly to herself, and maybe her parents, so that she wouldn't ruin the only strong friendship she had in her school. But which reason was she going to give Regina? She couldn't very well tell her that he was jealous of HER, could she? How would that sound?

Even though she was confused, Emma could not wait to answer Regina's letter. She thus took her pen and a new piece of paper and started writing to her not so new friend now, a smile on her lips.

 

//

 

_dear Regina,_

_I was so happy to receive your letter, you know. You are the sweetest for reassuring me like that and I want to assure you that I feel the same way about our friendship, I want to tell you everything about my day, just as it happens to me. Also, I realized that I was talking a lot about you, as you have become a big part of my life and talking about you seems to be the best way to pretend that you are here next to me instead of at the other end of the city (which, come to realize, is not that far awy...). My parents don't mind me mentioning you at every turn of the conversation, they are so happy I got a new friend with whom I get along so well. However, I guess Neal is not so happy with this. I thought about it after reading your letter and I decided not to talk about you that much with him. He has no reason to be jealous, but you know that jealousy does not always come with a reason._

_About you now, I am really glad that everything is getting better for you, I am sure your smile is a billion times more beautiful than mine therefore I feel obligated to provoke it with my letters! :P (don't think I didn't see your use of a smiley! I was so happy to see it because it means that I can use some now aha! You don't know what you started!)_

_You are one of a kind, Regina, and making you smile is now my daily purpose, you deserve so much happiness._

_Looking forward to hear about your new adventures,_

_Emma_

 

//

 

Emma smiled while closing the envelope; she was quite proud of this one. Writing to Regina served so many purposes, and one of them was improving her writing abilities. Regina always sounded so sophisticated in her letters, so Emma always found herself trying to reach this level of expectation, even if she knew Regina did not mind her rambling on paper.

She posted the letter on her way to school, making a mental note not to forget to avoid speaking about Regina to Neal. Let's see if that works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think x


End file.
